Where I am now.. and Where i want to go..

Last night I couldn't sleep, as much as I wanted to I just couldn't.. it was one of those situations where your body is soo tired but your brain is more active than its been all day. I'm not sure if it was because it was raining (which you all know doesn't happen that often anymore) or the medication I'm on at the moment (ill explain why later if I remember) anyway it seemed instead of falling into the nice slumber I wanted so desperately I was laying awake thinking...

I should probably start by explaining where I'm at now and telling you all a bit about myself..

I'm 19 years old and have grown up in a christian family all my life, but it hasn't been till recently that I have been open about it. Ive always told people I'm a christian if they ask but Ive not been one to go out and say 'hey! I'm a christian! WOO!'

I live with my grandpa in Altona, my parents moved to Hamilton, Vic, when I finished year 12 and I stayed behind so I could start uni. I'm studying Medical, Forensic Analytical Chemistry (yes it sounds smart doesn't it?) at Victoria University in Werribee and when I finish I hope to become a Forensic Chemist with the police!

I have Crohns Disease, an inflammatory bowel disease, and in some regards I have probably been in 'denial' about it. I'm the type of person who hates admitting I'm sick because I know it means I'll have mum going 'are you alright?' every 5 minutes. I was diagnosed with Crohns in 2004, and until recently haven't had any problems with it. I am now getting over what they call 'flare up' a few weeks ago I spent a week in hospital being pumped with drugs! (yep! I know it was great! haha!) Because of this flare up I have had to make the unfortunate decision of post-poning my studies, so I can have an operation to 'cut out the bad bit' and this will HOPEFULLY be taking place in the next few months. My brother has Crohns as well, and he had the operation quite awhile back and he is now 'cured' so god willing I to will be 'cured'

I work at Coles, I'm a checkout chick! I was a supervisor, but I think that will unfortunately change because of me being away so long, and seeing as I'll be having a bit of time off in the next few months...

So last night I was thinking about my life and how its changed since I finished high school in 2005 (feels like a lifetime ago). I was also thinking about how I have changed as a person because of the people I have met and become close to since finishing year 12.

My friends have changed. In high school I was apart of a great group of girls, Megan, Stacey, Kylie, Kelly, and Lauren. There was also Christine, Cat, Amanda, and Tash who I hung out with quite a bit! Then when we all finished school, seeing each other became less and less. But that's when I met a great group of guys! My bestest bud Manda from Hamilton (where my parents live) asked me to Ocean Grove for what some would call 'schoolies' but wasn't. We met the guys there and have been mates since. Of course things have changed in our 'group' because of differences we all have but all in all we still good friends! Me and Megan became absolute best friends after school finished, we were inseparable, we did everything together. But again things changed, towards the end of last year.. we had our differences, and we both became busy with both of us working, and me studying. I also I became closer to my mates at church! Especially Aaron, he's a great guy who's at college training to be an officer and hes going to be an awesome officer when hes finished!

Living away from mum n dad meant that I had to make the choice to go to church, mum n dad had never forced me into going of course, but me getting my licence meant I could go when I want if I wanted. This is when I think I really started to become closer to God. I started to enjoy going to church, I no longer saw it as I HAD to be there, I actually WANTED to be there.

Me being sick has also brought me closer to God. I know many people say that when they're sick because they need God only when times are desperate, and I must admit that I can be one of those people. BUT last night, while I was doing all of this thinking I honestly felt that I wanted to become more and more closer to God.

Now that I have told you where I am now, I will now as my title states tell you where I want to go..

It seems god is giving me the confidence to tell people I am a christian. For the past few months now I have had the same song come randomly into my head. I'm sure all those who went to Sunday school will remember it.. it goes 'I am a C, I am a C.H, I am a C.H.R.I.S.T.I.A.N, and I have C.H.R.I.S.T in my H.E.A.R.T and I will L.I.V.E E.T.E.R.N.A.L.L.Y!!

I want to become even closer to God, and to do this I'm going to use this blog to write down my thoughts on things that are happening in my life. I'm going to ask all those that read this blog to give me their thoughts on what I write.. I'm not sure how often ill make a post but be patient because I'm sure it will be worth the wait! =P

Love and God bless!

Amy
XXOO